By Edwin & Sophia Christiaan | December 20, 2021 | www.instituteoflove.net
Saying that there is such a thing as a Christian psychopath and sociopath might be an oxymoron to some, but in fact, they are found everywhere; even in churches and among pastors. From a biblical perspective, a Christian psychopath or sociopath is someone who claims to know God but deny Him by the way they live (see Titus 1:16).
These so-called “Christian” psychopaths and sociopaths are false believers. They are deceitful people who disguises themselves as followers of Jesus Christ, or as the Bible says, as an angel of light or servants of righteousness (see 2. Corinthians 11:13-15).
Psychopaths and sociopaths are people who only love themselves (see 2. Timothy 3:2).
“They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.”
2. Timothy 3:5 NLT
Because these people are false believers with no intention toward godliness, they reject and discredit other Christians who confront them about their wrong behavior in order to help them change. Twisting these godly people’s intentions, they take any approach as rejection and attack on their person. In defense of themselves, they launch retaliating smearing campaigns against them in order to destroy their reputation. They even turn it around and call them out for repentance.
HOW THEY DECEIVE
Initially, a Christian psychopath or sociopath can come over charming and honest. They keep up this open approach until they have gained your trust and your defenses are down. After this, they begin to confuse you with subtle disinformation about events that occurred or people they encountered. They even blatantly attack you right to your face with sneaky, false, and accusatory comments in order to manipulate and control you. Anything you might respond to this attack will be twisted around, only fueling another attack. Suspicious of everything and everybody, the Christian psychopath or sociopath treats people like they are not to be trusted.
Many people are fooled by the psychopath and sociopath’s ability to hold a job, have a romantic relationship, and even have a seemingly loving family. Using charm, they will do anything to appear trustworthy and normal.
They are skilled at making people think they agree with them, but it is just another manipulation tactics. They are constantly busy scheming ways to make people like them and believe in them, so they many times act out the feelings others expect them to have. This is an extremely dishonest behavior, but they feel no guilt whatsoever.
Psychopaths and sociopaths seem to thrive in the realm of offense. Being extremely controlling, they are constantly watching out for things people say that they can use against them. Armed with something someone said or did that can be taken as an offense, they proceed to confront people for attacking them. Through this, the psychopath or sociopath hopes to gain more power over a person by having them apologize and feel bad for how they came across, even if it is a totally misconstrued accusation. As the person acts subserviently, the psychopath feels empowered, and will continue using this method again and again.
Psychopaths and sociopaths are characterized by extreme self-centeredness, immaturity, lack of empathy and remorse, low tolerance for stress, cold-heartedness, superficial charm, irresponsibility, impulsivity, and a great desire and need to manipulate others.
HOW THEY USE PEOPLE
To a psychopath, people are seen as pawns to be used to forward their goals. Instead of connecting in a healthy way with others, they form artificial, shallow relationships they can shape into a master-to-disciple type of relationship, much like a cult leader grooms followers to worship, obey, and defend them.
Usually, people will not realize the toxic, demonic, and even dangerous relationship they have with the psychopath or sociopath until they have suffered a tremendous amount of psychological abuse. And by then, they might be too emotionally involved to truly want to get away.
WHY THERE IS NO HELP OR CURE
Psychopaths and sociopaths are narcissists. They don’t think there is anything wrong with them. Their absurdly distorted thinking patterns convince them that everyone else is wrong all the time. That is why they don’t feel bad no matter how much they hurt others, as they always find a way to justify themselves.
Psychopaths and sociopaths cannot be cured. Their lack of conscience causes them not to be able to admit any wrongdoing, and therefore, they are left completely incapable of change. The Bible teaches that it is impossible to change what we don’t sorrowfully admit,
“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.”
2. Corinthians 7:10 NLT
To become a true Christian, a person must humble themself before God, repent of their sins, and give their life to Jesus Christ and follow in His footsteps.
“For Jesus is your example, and you must follow in His steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone. He did not retaliate when He was insulted, nor threaten revenge when He suffered. He left His case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.”
1. Peter 2:21-23 NLT
A true Christian no longer lives for themselves, but lives to serve others as Jesus did. There is no room for selfish, manipulative behaviors, but rather, they must submit to God’s will. The Word of God says,
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.”
Philippians 2:3-5 NLT
Psychopaths and sociopaths, even if they call themselves Christians, are not able to follow the humble, kind, graceful, and serving attitude that Jesus exemplified.
Instead, they are boastful, self-righteous, proud, unloving, and unforgiving. They slander others and have no self-control. They are divisive and cruel, hating what is good. They betray friends, act reckless, and are puffed up with pride. See 2. Timothy 3:2-4.
Precisely for this reason, the Bible warns us,
“My friends, I beg you to watch out for anyone who causes trouble and divides the church by refusing to do what all of you were taught. Stay away from them! They want to serve themselves and not Christ the Lord. Their flattery and fancy talk fool people who don't know any better.” Romans 16:17-18 CEV
WARNING TO GOOD-HEARTED CHRISTIANS
Some Christians might argue that if they set boundaries and stay away from psychopaths or sociopaths, it is the same as giving up on them, and no one should give up on anyone. However well-meaning, they are only fooling themselves, thinking their love and patience will have any effect on these people whatsoever. That is the sad reality.
We must be very careful not to think that we are responsible for bringing them to the truth, or thinking that we can do or say something that will miraculously cause them to change. In fact, any engagement with a psychopath or sociopath will only open the door to more abuse.
Most people are willing to change things about themselves when they see a need for it. But psychopaths and sociopaths are narcissists, meaning they will never be willing to admit the need for any change. They are truly toxic people who NEVER changes!