By Edwin Christiaan
According to dictionaries, a womanizer is defined as a man who likes many women and has short sexual relationships with them; a man given to seducing women or a man who enters in numerous casual sexual relationships with women.
A womanizer is often understood to be the same as a playboy. But dictionaries translate a playboy as being a wealthy man who spends his time enjoying himself, especially one who behaves irresponsibly or is sexually promiscuous or a man who devotes himself to the pleasures of nightclubs, expensive holiday resorts, female company, etc.
In any case, they both find the challenge of seducing different women more interesting than the actual pursuit of a long-term romantic relationship. A womanizer is often a serial dater who enjoys the thrill of the chase more than the end game of the dating ritual.
We find womanizers on all levels of society, including in the Church among pastors and ministers. Scores of (gullible) women get hurt and wounded by these deceiving men.
A womanizer often wears the most stylish clothing, drives a sporty vehicle and flashes expensive jewelry, all in an effort to impress single women in trendy nightclubs or meat markets or even in Church. They always seem to say and promise all the things women want to hear from a man.
A serial womanizer is keenly aware of how to hold a woman’s interest through conversations – which are usually superficial – and other seductions, which may work in his favor if he wants the date to escalate physically. This is all part of the seduction game for a chronic womanizer who may not even be truly interested in the woman as an individual. While all of these trappings may help a womanizer seduce a new target, he is generally following a script which has proven to be successful in the past.
One of the weapons that a womanizer uses to seduce women is flirting which, according to the dictionary, is someone who behaves as if attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intentions. Flirting is a playful, romantic or sexual overture by one person to another, subtly indicating an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, and can involve verbal communication as well as body language. Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, open stances, proximity etc. Verbal communication of interest can include the vocal tone, such as pace, volume, intonation. Challenges (teasing, questions, qualifying, and pretended disinterest) serve to increase tension, test intention and compatibility.
Although flirting is almost always described as “harmless,” it rarely, if ever, actually is. The first thing to consider is what people generally think about those who flirt. A man who flirts will be viewed as a womanizer who is not interested in serious relationships. A woman who flirts, for example, will develop a reputation as being promiscuous. She will find that other women look at her as a threat and take an instant disliking to her. Anyone who flirts may enjoy the attention, but the interest shown to that person is almost exclusively sexual and will probably lack any sense of respect.
Since flirting is a form of sexual play, flirting with someone other than your spouse could be considered wrong.
That is why having casual contact with someone while purposely entertaining sexual undertones can be dangerous for us spiritually. Although most people believe that as long as nothing physical takes place, what goes on in our minds is irrelevant, the Bible tells us otherwise as Jesus said in Matthew 5:28-29 NLT:
But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
A womanizer may have serious issues with women in general, which can be the hidden motivation behind the seduction and ultimate rejection process. A womanizer is often a male chauvinist who views women as inferiors, or manipulators, who believe they deserve to be liked by a particular woman. A womanizer may be so concerned about rejection that he makes sure he remains in complete control of every relationship he enters, no matter how superficial or fleeting. Some relationship experts suggest that a habitual womanizer may be reenacting a painful break-up experience every time he picks up a new “conquest.”
Other womanizers may actually love the company of women too much. They cannot commit to an exclusive or monogamous relationship because there are far too many other interesting types of women to pursue. They don’t necessarily want to hurt their current partner, but they also cannot resist the temptation to flirt with other women as assurance of their sexual or romantic competence. A player or ladies’ man may be very good at hiding his true nature from a long-term romantic partner, but eventually most womanizers either get caught in an infidelity or mature to the point where a monogamous relationship holds more appeal than serial seductions.
The Bible teaches us that we are to be a good example, showing others the love of Christ through our behavior.
Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT
It is possible that a man or woman who is being flirted with has been struggling with lustful thoughts themselves. When a person of the opposite sex is hanging on them, winking at them, touching them, or showing off their body to them, it will make the person’s struggle all the more difficult. The Bible strongly warns us against tempting others to sin.
What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting. Matthew 18:7 NLT
We ought to do all we can to bring others into God’s Kingdom and never do anything that would cause a person to stumble in his or her Christian walk.
It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. Romans 14:21 NLT
Copyright©2011 Edwin & Sophia Christiaan