Honor Your Father and Mother

By Edwin Christiaan

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God will give you.” Exodus 20:12 NLT

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: If you honor your father and mother, “you will live a long life, full of blessing.” Ephesians 6:1-3 NLT

“You children must always obey your parents, for this is what pleases the Lord.” Colossians 3:20 NLT

Honoring partly means speaking well and politely to your parents, or in other words, acting in a way that shows courtesy and respect to them.

There are many parents who misuse the above Bible scriptures in order to control and manipulate their children to do whatever pleases them, and keep their children in bondage, even to the point of emotionally and physically abusing them.

“And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 NLT

“Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.” Colossians 3:21 NLT

Many times parents do not let go of the control over their children, even into their adulthood and marriages. This continuous involvement into their lives often create much unnecessary trouble.

“If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people’s affairs.” 1. Peter 4:14-15 NLT

“And He (Jesus) said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’” Matthew 19:5-6 NLT

To sum it up, as adults, you should not obey or submit to your parents if it means disobedience to God, or when you have left your parents’ house and/or started a family of your own. We are not to be co-dependent to people, but being submitted and dependent on the will of God and His calling for our lives.

“We must obey God rather than human authority.” Acts 5:29-30 NLT

Here is an example how the Bible talks about obedience:

“As Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers were outside, wanting to talk with him. Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to speak to you.”

Jesus asked, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?”  Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “These are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” Matthew 12:46-50 NLT

“Once when Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, they couldn’t get to him because of the crowds. Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to see you.” Jesus replied, “My mother and my brothers are all those who hear the message of God and obey it.” Luke 8:19-21 NLT

That is why Jesus said:

“Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to bring strife and division! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against — or the other way around. There will be a division between father and son, mother and daughter, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.” Luke 12:51-53 NLT

In other words, there is no middle ground with Jesus. He demands complete and total loyalty and commitment to the point that we sometimes have to sever relationships that are clearly going against His Word and purpose for our lives.

Are you willing to risk your family’s disapproval in order to follow God’s will?

“If you want to be my follower you must love me more than your own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters — yes, more than your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And you cannot be my disciple if you do not carry your own cross and follow me.” Luke 14:26-27 NLT

“And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will have eternal life.” Matthew 19:29 NLT

Copyright©2007 Edwin & Sophia Christiaan