By Sophia Christiaan | October 15, 2020

There is something all godly women have in common, a product of the inner peace they possess, an outward display of the result of their faith; namely gracefulness! The dictionary describes the adjective ‘graceful’ as elegant, poised, decent, and honorable. It refers to a person who has or shows grace. The word ‘grace’ is defined as unmerited divine assistance given to humans for salvation or a virtue coming from God. Grace also means approval, favor, mercy, pardon, or privilege.

When someone has grace, they will be graceful. When someone does not have grace, they will be ungraceful. Having or lacking grace can be the all-defining factor for success in someone’s life, but it is often overlooked. In a world of increasing political correctness, narcissism, and extreme entitlement, what we find is people who lack the ability to show grace. They want to be shown grace, but they do not show it themselves. They just want to be right, and win the fight.

As a woman, I believe this little word, gracefulness, will become very important going forward. There is a great rise of rebellious women, who are taking matters into their own hands with a sense of entitlement and bravado, who find it important to show a display of empowerment in what they see as a male dominated and failed society. They come across as vindictive and as if they have a score to settle for all the abuse their sex has endured through times past. Although this uprising tempts to appeal at first glance to any woman who has ever experienced injustice and unfair treatment, as women of God, we must beware that a bitter root does not fester deep within our souls.

We are right now living in a time, where people, who have been wronged, are taking it into their own hands to rectify the wrongs. But this approach will always be abominable in God’s eyes. The Word of God clearly says to leave the vengeance to Him! (Deuteronomy 32:35, Romans 12:19.)

We all know what happened to the wicked Queen Jezebel of Israel. She “took matters into her own hands” and sought out an innocent man to kill him and rob him. (1. Kings 21:7-8.) Her end came at the hands of her very own servants, who pushed her out her window to her death. Dogs ate her remains, save her skull, her feet, and her hands. (2. Kings 9:33,35.)

There is no room for vengeance, violence, and self-entitled “score-settling” in a vessel full of the grace of God. Simply put: Either a person trusts in the Lord for the entire outcome of their lives, or they seek to control their own destiny. You cannot have both within one body.

That is the beauty of not only coming to faith, believing in Christ as your Savior, but also entrusting Him with your life and your circumstances. We become graceful people when we have received God’s grace for ourselves. Then, out of that, we can give grace to others. But if we have never been reconciled to Christ, or found forgiveness for our own sins, there is no way we will be acting graceful to others, who wrong us. We will feel entitled to apologies and restitutions. We will not feel inclined to forgive others, until and unless they make up for their wrong. So, what if they never do?

Following this mindset, you could potentially be holding people to account for wrongs they either never knew they committed, do not feel responsible for, do not feel remorse for, or even have taken to their grave. Where does that leave you?

Let us understand, that the Bible is clear; if you do not forgive others, you will not be forgiven. Jesus said, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

And the apostle James wrote, “Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.” (James 2:12-13)

Walking in grace is a lifestyle of constantly letting grace flow. But, as we stated, you cannot give what you do not have. You must have grace in order to give it. When I look at women in top positions in the government, I immediately scan them for the presence of grace in their demeanor and behavior. If they tend to belittle others, feel easily offended and attacked, and snap at others in disrespect, I know I am dealing with a person who has never experienced the soothing flow of grace through their soul. Therefore, they are unable to act graceful to others.

On the other hand, when a woman is graceful, she answers politely in the face of insults and she carries herself with true dignity and self-respect. She does not feel the need to counterattack others, raise her worth in the eyes of others by promoting herself, or seek to rid herself of blame. She is honest and trustworthy, speaks the truth in love and respect. She practices introspection and corrects her own mistakes. Most importantly, she carries no grudges – even if she could!

A graceful woman trusts that God is in control of every aspect of her life and sees her circumstances. She trusts that God hears her prayers, and intervenes in unjust situations in His good timing and in His sovereign way.

Sometimes, dukes, duchesses, and archbishops are addresses with the title, “Your Grace.” If you are a son or daughter of the Most High God, the King of kings and Lord of lords, would it not be fitting for you to see yourself as an entity of grace, a reflection, and even a vessel of the very attribute of God that through Christ has not only saved your soul from eternal damnation, but also filled you with this spirit that enables you to act like Him and be His representative in your actions to a world in desperate need of this love and grace?

Despite what others do to me, I want to hold myself to the standard of the grace of God I have received, and always be willing to bestow it upon others, deserving or undeserving. In other words, no matter what other people choose to do, I will do what is right in God’s eyes because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. He gave grace and mercy to me when I was still a sinner who did not deserve it, and I will perpetuate that spirit through my life to others, that they too will know His grace.

This is my prayer for all of us: “May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord.” 2. Peter 1:2

Follow Sophia Christiaan’s personal blog here: @GracefulLifeWithSophiaChristiaan