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Safe Sex

Imagine how much better our world would be if the true pattern for sex was followed: fewer sexually transmitted diseases, fewer unwed mothers, fewer unwanted pregnancies, fewer abortions, and so on.

But the unfortunate reality is that the world tells us that “sex outside of marriage is okay as long as you are practicing safe sex,” or that “same-sex unions are normal and they should have the same status as male/female marriages.”

And why wait they say; when everyone else is getting the goods now? It’s just sex. It is the subject of nearly every movie, primetime show and magazine ads. In this sex-saturated culture, waiting till marriage seems outdated. Having pleasure is the name of the game.

I looked up the meaning of ‘Safe Sex’ and came up with the following definition:

Safe sex means taking precautions during sex that can keep you from getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), or from giving an STD to your partner. These diseases include genital herpes, genital warts, HIV, Aids, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B and C, and others.

“Safe sex” is also more accurately described as “reduced risk sex.”

In addition to the risk of contracting these diseases or getting pregnant, premarital sex leads to emotional distress, distrust, regret and emptiness. That’s because sex connects people in body and spirit; it’s impossible to separate the two. It damages the relationship between the persons involved. Trust is the main issue here. If two people do not cherish sex enough to wait for a marriage commitment, how can they trust one another for fidelity?

Conversely, a man and woman build trust and respect for one another when they both survive the struggles of self-control. Each will have the confidence that the other respects them, and cherishes their intimacy.

Similarly, if a person has not carried sexual purity into marriage, his or her marriage relationship is affected by the past. If a man or woman has previously had sex with someone else, their marital intimacy has already been affected. One or both spouses will have to deal with real or perceived comparisons with “former lovers” and feeling that intimacy was not important enough for the other person to wait for it. But if both have waited for their wedding night, the intimacy has already begun with a solid foundation.

Sex is a good thing, but the only way to keep it a “good thing” is to follow the guideline that has been prescribed by the one who invented it.

It is God who created sex and therefore it is more than reasonable to expect that it is good. But when man distorts it by ignoring God’s specific standards and guidelines, it becomes harmful and destructive. We can choose to do things God’s way, and experience the beauty and blessings of His plan, or we can choose to do things our way, and experience harm and destruction.

God designed sex to be pleasurable. He wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity (within the confines of marriage). However, the primary purpose of sex is actually not pleasure, but rather reproduction, which is the reason we are on this earth to begin with.

So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them. God blessed them and told them, “Multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.” Genesis 1:27-28 NLT

That is why sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations that God approves of.

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4 NLT

But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife. So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. 1. Corinthians 7:2-5 NLT

The Bible calls sex before marriage or premarital sex fornication which is voluntary sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married to each other. The Greek word for ‘fornication’ is porneia which not only includes premarital sex, but also adultery, homosexual acts, incest  and sexual acts with animals, all of which are explicitly forbidden in the law as given through Moses in the book of Leviticus chapter 20 versus 10-21 NLT:

If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife, both the man and the woman must be put to death. If a man has intercourse with his father’s wife, both the man and the woman must die, for they are guilty of a capital offense. If a man has intercourse with his daughter-in-law, both must be put to death. They have acted contrary to nature and are guilty of a capital offense.

The penalty for homosexual acts is death to both parties. They have committed a detestable act and are guilty of a capital offense. If a man has intercourse with a woman and her mother, such an act is terribly wicked. All three of them must be burned to death to wipe out such wickedness from among you.

If a man has sexual intercourse with an animal, he must be put to death, and the animal must be killed. If a woman approaches a male animal to have intercourse with it, she and the animal must both be put to death. Both must die, for they are guilty of a capital offense.

If a man has sexual intercourse with his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, it is a terrible disgrace. Both of them must be publicly cut off from the community. Since the man has had intercourse with his sister, he will suffer the consequences of his guilt. If a man has intercourse with a woman suffering from a hemorrhage, both of them must be cut off from the community, because he exposed the source of her flow, and she allowed him to do it.

If a man has sexual intercourse with his aunt, whether his mother’s sister or his father’s sister, he has violated a close relative. Both parties are guilty of a capital offense. If a man has intercourse with his uncle’s wife, he has violated his uncle. Both the man and woman involved are guilty of a capital offense and will die childless. If a man marries his brother’s wife, it is an act of impurity. He has violated his brother, and the guilty couple will remain childless.

In other words, fornication, also mentioned as sexual immorality in the Bible, is any and all sexual conduct except that between a man and wife.

Fornication is listed as one of the works of flesh, and that those who unremorsefully continue to live this kind lifestyle will not get into heaven.

Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21 NKJV

That is why abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, and gives sexual relations the proper Godly value.

If you have found yourself violating God’s laws of sexual relations, including living together without being officially married, all you have to do to receive the forgiveness from God, is to repent of your sin and ask for His forgiveness. And as Jesus Christ mercifully said to woman caught in the act of committing adultery: ‘go and sin no more’ (See John 8:1-11).

Copyright©2008 Edwin & Sophia Christiaan

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